


NO NUT NOVEMBER

by Strawbhannie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: It’s now December, M/M, Smut, Texting, literally no one asked for this ever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-25 21:12:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16668382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawbhannie/pseuds/Strawbhannie
Summary: Bitch: HmmmmmmmJmoney: noBIGDICK: Whatever you’re gonna say don’tBitch: Let's play a gameLOL STARTED THIS IN NOVEMBER IT'S NOW DECEMBER SO UHH LET GET IT





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Vergin: Vernon/ Hansol 
> 
> Boob: Seungkwan 
> 
> Fuck off: Minghao 
> 
> Not a baby: Chan 
> 
> HOESHI: Soonyoung
> 
> Lanky Bitch: Mingyu 
> 
> uwu: Seokmin 
> 
> Jmoney: Jisoo
> 
> BIGDICK: Seungcheol 
> 
> nope: Jihoon 
> 
> Wombat: Wonwoo 
> 
> Bitch: Jeonghan 
> 
> Bitch Jr: Junhui

Vergin created the chat ‘I might be dying?’

Vergin added fuck off, BIGDICK, and 10 people

  
Vergin: Do you remember what that scar on my chest is from ???

jmoney: Hansol what are you on now?

Wombat: Who are you even asking???

Nope: Did you actually make a group chat to ask that dumb question?

fuck off: Do you actually think any of us care?

Not a baby: Hao is right you could get hit by a car and i wouldn’t care

Wombat: ^

Nope: ^

Jmoney: ^

uwu: ^

Bitch: ^

Bitch jr: ^

ne

BIGDICK: ^

fuck off: ^

Boob: ^

Lanky Bitch: ^

HOESHI: ^

Vergin: You’re all fake

Vergin: i’m being serious :(

Vergin: it hurts and i don’t remember :(

Boob: Hansol you got it when you tried to jump my fence and landed on your ass

BIGDICK: Why you jumping fences??¿

Uwu: Hansol was prolly railing kwanie and had to dip before Seungkwan’s parents came home

Boob: SEOKMIN

Vergin: He’s not wrong tho

Jmoney: Only Hansol would hurt himself after sleeping with his boyfriend

Boob: we’re not dating

Vergin: we’re not dating

Bitch: That was suspiciously fast

Boob: Shut up Jeonghan go back to sucking Seungcheol’s dick

Bitch: i breAthed?

Wombat: I bet any of you couldn’t go a day without having sex

HOESHI: WONWOO YOU LITERALLY HAVE JUNHUI’S MOUTH ON YOUR DICK

Nope: how do i leave this chat

Wombat: You’re home?

Lanky Bitch: The fuck Soonyoung why are you watching?

HOESHI: IM NOT!! I JUST LEFT MY ROOM TO GET CHIPS AND NOW IM TRYING TO BURN MY EYES OUT MY SKULL

uwu: This chat is wild

BIGDICK: I’m not surprised none of you assholes could keep it in your pants if you tired

Nope: says the one named big dick

BIGDICK: its a FACT

Bitch: is it?

Jmoney: ^

BIGDICk: We’re breaking up

Not a baby: Hey I don’t run around with my dick out

Lanky bitch: Channie jacking off counts

Not a baby: Awh :(

Bitch: Hmmmmmmm

Jmoney: no

BIGDICK: Whatever you’re gonna say don’t

Bitch: Lets play a game

Nope: any kind of games you play always end up with one of us crying

Nope: usually Seokmin

Uwu: Hey! i didn’t cry last time

Fuck off: yes you did

Uwu: :(

Fuck off: its okay Minnie it’s just cause your heart is so big

Uwu: :)

Jmoney: and jeonghan is a sadistic fuck

Bitch: Shut up everyone listen I say we all partake in no nut november

Lankybitch: and why the FUCK would we do that

Bitch: To cleanse your nasty sinful bodies

Bitch Jr: how about we make this interesting loser has to do my laundry for a month

HOESHI: Oh look who’s done sucking dick

Wombat: ;)

Fuckoff: Junhui what makes you think you’re gonna win

Lanky bitch: Yeah you just got done giving head if anyone is going to win it’s gonna be me and I want Seungcheol’s car

BIGDICK: and i want normal fucking friends but here we are

Lanky bitch: so that’s a no?

Boob: The only way Mingyu would win is because he’s single so he’s not getting any dick anyways

Lanky bitch: Why y’all coming for me like that

Fuck off: it doesn’t matter cause you’re not gonna win anyway Mingyu

Nope: And you are?

Fuck off: No i’m not participating in this stupid game

Lanky bitch: Why Halo scared you’ll lose and I get Seungcheol’s car

Fuck off: Fine i’ll play and the only reason is to kick your ass

Nope: Seungcheol has a nice ass car i’ll do it

BIGDICK: NO ONE IS GETTING MY CAR

HOESHI: I guess if Jihoon is in so am I

Wombat: Me and Junhui are in

Vergin: ill join Seungcheol’s car has surround sound and it’s perfect for hotboxing

BIGDICK: LISTEN TO ME YOU SEX CRAVED SHIT HEADS NO ONE IS GETTING MY CAR

Boob: I’m in

Uwu: Why not!

Jmoney: I’ll do it

Bitch: Perfect! Alright so if you nut you’re out winner gets Cheolies car~

BIGDICK: IM NOT AGREEING TO THIS

 

 

 


	2. Why the fuck are you awake at 3 am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boob: someone is bitter and single 
> 
> Lanky bitch: oh i’m sorry i missed the part where you also had a boyfriend? 
> 
> Boob: shut it you tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vergin: Vernon/ Hansol
> 
> Boob: Seungkwan
> 
> Fuck off: Minghao
> 
> Not a baby: Chan
> 
> HOESHI: Soonyoung
> 
> Lanky Bitch: Mingyu
> 
> uwu: Seokmin
> 
> Jmoney: Jisoo
> 
> BIGDICK: Seungcheol
> 
> nope: Jihoon
> 
> Wombat: Wonwoo
> 
> Bitch: Jeonghan
> 
> Bitch Jr: Junhui

HOESHI: Beautiful morning to nut isn’t it boys 

 

Wombat: its 3am what the fuck soonyoung 

 

Nope: Where the hell are you?

 

Jmoney: Why are you hoes waking everyone up

 

HOESHI: I woke up and you looked so good so I had to get out of there before i lost 

 

HOESHI: now i’m at the gym 

 

HOESHI: CANT NUT IF I CAN'T SEE MY MAN

 

Bitch Jr: Awh that’s cute in a gross sex kinda way  :( 

 

Nope: Get your stupid ass back here I’m cold 

 

Uwu: Awh look who has a heart

 

Nope: I’ll end you

 

Boob: Why are you ALL up so early!?!?

 

Uwu: I’m up because Hansol and Chan called me while they were high because they wanted hot Cheetos 

 

Vergin: HELL YEAH

 

Fuck off: You’re a mistake 

 

Vergin: Awh :( 

 

Wombat: Junhui why are you up so early? 

 

Bitch Jr: I had a bad dream and couldn’t fall back asleep :( 

 

Wombat: Why didn’t you call me 

 

Bitch Jr: I know how much you like your sleep I didn’t want to bother you 

 

Lanky Bitch: i’m gonna throw up can you two be gay somewhere else 

 

Boob: someone is bitter and single 

 

Lanky bitch: oh i’m sorry i missed the part where you also had a boyfriend? 

 

Boob: shut it you tree 

 

Wombat: Junnie i’m coming over

 

Bitch Jr: withhhhh your hoodie annnd some jellies 

 

Wombat: already got them 

 

Boob: God you two make me sick 

 

Fuck off: Wonwoo if you’re coming over here bring breakfast 

 

Lanky Bitch: i wanna come :( 

 

Fuck off: I have no lil bitch policy in my apartment sorry 

 

Boob: Mingyu isn’t a lil bitch 

 

Fuck off: Kwannie is right sorry gyu 

 

Fuck off: *Big bitch 

 

Lanky Bitch: Shove a pencil up your rectum

 

Lanky Bitch: It’s not just your apartment it’s Junnie’s too 

 

Bitch jr: You can come over Gyu 

 

Fuck Off: Fine but you're not getting any of my tater tots

 

Fuck Off: Oh Wonu bring tater tots

 

Boob: If Mingyu is coming so am I 

 

Not a baby: IF THERE ARE TATER TOTS ME HANSOL AND SEOKMIN ARE COMING OVER

 

Wombat: It’s 3am where the fuck am I supposed to find tater tots 

 

Fuck Off: FIGURE IT OUT JEON 

 

BIGDICK: everyone shut up!!!

 

Jmoney: *Please 

 

BIGDICK: Babe 

 

Jmoney: What they tend to listen when you’re nice to them 

 

Jmoney: Also if you guys don't stop you’re going to wake up Jeonghan 

 

_ Bitch is typing …… _

 

BIGDICK: We tried to warn you dumbasses 

 

Bitch:  ALRIGHT YOU TITTY FACE FUCK HEADS 

 

HOESHI: Titty face what? 

 

Fuck Off: Soon don’t poke the bear 

 

Bitch:  IM MAKING IT MY LIFE FUCKING MISSION TO MAKE SURE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU NUT YOU FUCKING WASTE OF SPACES 

 

Boob: Shit 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? GOD I really don't know what I'm doing!!! COMMENT WHO YOU THINK IS GONNA NUT FIRST


	3. R.I.P Kim Mingyu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vergin: OH FUCK 
> 
> Guess who still doesn't know how to format a text fic! It's more likely than you think!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vergin: Vernon/ Hansol
> 
> Boob: Seungkwan
> 
> Fuck off: Minghao
> 
> Not a baby: Chan
> 
> HOESHI: Soonyoung
> 
> Lanky Bitch: Mingyu
> 
> uwu: Seokmin
> 
> Jmoney: Jisoo
> 
> BIGDICK: Seungcheol
> 
> nope: Jihoon
> 
> Wombat: Wonwoo
> 
> Bitch: Jeonghan
> 
> Bitch Jr: Junhui

  
**[ Americans ]**

**[ 11-04-2018 3:30 ]**

Vergin: :(

read 3:32

Vergin : >:(

Vergin: >:C

Jmoney: Vernon what do you want

Vergin: Your boyfriend to quit ruining my life

Jmoney: which one?

Vergin: slut

Vergin: you know which one

Jmoney: i think it’s funny that you think i can stop jeonghan from doing anything.

Vergin: :(

Jmoney: Oh quit pouting you’re only sad cause this whole no nut thing cuts your already limited time with Seungkwan down and you’re in love with him

Vergin: IM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM

Vergin: my dick just misses him

Jmoney: You’re an idiot just forget about the game and go to Seungkwan

Vergin: For sex?

Jmoney: Or you could tell him you’ve been in love with him since the 1st grade and stop making all of us watch how painfully dumb the two of you are

Verign: Nah I want a blowjob

Jmoney: You disgust me

 

**[ Kwannie & Hannie ] **  
**[ 11-05-2018 3:45]**

Boob: I have a problem

Bitch: A hansol shaped problem?

Boob: It’s nothing serious!!! I just miss sleeping with him that’s all!!

Bitch: that's a lot of exclamation points

Boob: strictly physical

Boob: i feel nothing for that pot headed idiot

Boob: n o t h i n g

Bitch: who are you convincing here me or yourself

Boob: shut up and help me

Bitch: and what exactly am I helping you do?

Boob: moving this sadistic game of yours along so we can all nut again in peace

Bitch: Welllllll if you just want to nut again Mingyu is weak

Boob: How weak

Bitch: Jisoo trying to do a pull up in gym glass weak

Boob: Ha little bitch couldn’t even get an inch off the ground

Bitch: I know god I love him :( <3

Boob: Gross tell me how to make the tree nut

 

**[ I might be dying?]**  
**[11-04-2018 6:30]**

Not a baby: It’s been like almost a week since I jacked off

Nope: You want an award??

Bitch: excuse me mr i’m gonna pretend like i didn’t just read that

Bitch: Channie we’ve been over this you’re too young you’re not playing

Not baby: I’m 20!! and yes i am

Not baby: And i’m winning Seungcheol’s car

BIG DICK: Yep still didn't agree to that

HOESHI: we love a self confident KING MR LEE CHAN

Wombat: how on text are you still so loud??

Fuck off: The real question is how does Jihoon put up with it

HOESHI: HE LOVES ME

Nope: sure we will go with that

Uwu: relationship goals

Bitch jr: WONU ♡✧( ु•⌄• )

wombat: Hi Junnie

Bitch jr: i miss you (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

Fuck off: didn’t you two just see each other

Bitch jr: yeah he left to go pick up dinner

HOESHI: So he's coming right back?

HOESHI: also why don’t you ever bring any food back to our apartment

Bitch jr: yes but i still miss him ｡ﾟ(ﾟ∩´﹏`∩ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Wombat: Soonyoung I bring back food all the time, your boyfriend eats it all and Junnie I miss you too kitten i’ll be back in like 15 mins

Fuck off: GOD you two are disgusting

uwu: relationship goals part 2

Vergin: speaking of relationship goals has anyone seen Seungkwan

Not a baby: UMMM???

HOESHI: did we MISS SOMETHING?

Jmoney: way to be smooth vernon

Vergin: What?

Bitch: so you and Seungkwan are relationship goals now?

Vergin: What no? i meant like relationship like me and Seungkwan have a good friendship

Fuck off: so do you like think before you speak?

Vergin: shut up where is Seungkwan

Bitch: if things are going smoothly he should be with Mingyu right now annnnd someone might be out of the game pretty soon

Vergin: oh

BIG DICK: what did you do

Bitch: I am OFFENDED that you would think i would have anything to do with this

Nope: But you did tho right

Bitch: So what the two are always fighting and Mingyu's had a thing for Seungkwan’s ass forever so what if i put two and two together

Uwu: Seungkwan ass is amazing poor mingyu the guy never had a chance

Not a baby: R.I.P Kim Mingyu

 

**[ Americans ]**  
**[ 11-05-2018 6:45]**

Vergin: OH FUCK

Jmoney: there it is

Vergin: I love Seungkwan

Jmoney: I know Vernon literally everyone knew but you

Jmoney: and Seungkwan

Vergin: FUCK

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can she still write a no nut November fic in December? Prolly shouldn't but here we are! Let me know if you hated this so I uhh can never do it again !!
> 
> Blow a Kiss Fire a Gun and Life with Kids! Updates coming real soon <3 
> 
> COME HARASS ME @STRAWBHANNIE ( Instagram & Twitter )


	4. WOW AN UPDATE?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL ITS ALMOST JANUARY WHAT AM I DOING

[ i might be dying?]   
[ 11-05-2018 9:45]

Not a baby: We’ve been playing for so long it almost feels like it's January

Uwu: i smell weakness

Bitch: you smell nothing but an innocent lil boy WHOS NOT PLAYING

Not a baby: still playing

Bitch: still not acknowledging

Boob: GUESS

Boob: WHO

Boob: NUT

Wombat: *Nutted, you should have wrote it in the past tense.

Boob: Go choke on a dictionary bitch

Bitch: My favorite son I knew you would pull through

uwu: Hey :(

uwu: i thought i was your favorite

Bitch: you’re my favorite sun

uwu: :D

Fuck off: WAS IT GYU?

Fuck off changed lanky bitch’s name to nutless

Nope: nutless ?

Fuck off: yeah he used all his nuts up

Boob: gross

Vergin: So???

Vergin: like are you out as well seungkwan??

nutless: I DID NOT NUT BOO SEUNGKWAN IS A DIRTY LIAR

Boob: prove it flag pole

Nutless: SEUNGKWAN

Boob: FINE

Boob: yeah we just made out

BIGDICK: hot

jmoney: babe no

BIGDICK: :(

Fuck off: So Mingyu is still in the game?

Bitch: yall hoes are resilient i need to step my game up

Nutless: Yeah bitch cant get rid me that easily

Wombat: what about Hao

Nutless: What about him

Wombat: Halo in fishnets

Wombat: Halo in a choker

Bitch jr: i mean he does have all that stuff

Fuck off: SO thats what youre into Gyu?

Boob: MINGYU IS SWEATING

Bitch: Do I smell attraction???

Jmoney: Stop getting involved

Bitch: :(

BIGDICK: let him live

Bitch: :)

Jmoney: Cheol

BIGDICK: Shua is right

Bitch: :(

Nutless: I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR MINGHAO

Not a baby: No one said that Gyu

Nutless: Right I was just stating

Boob: HE’S BLUSHING

Vergin: youre still with him?

Boob: Yeah? im not gonna suck his face and then leave him dry

Nutless: Where getting pizza

Wombat: *we’re

Nutless: CHOKE

Wombat: Not my fault you're illiterate.

HOESHI: I WANT PIZZA

uwu: where have you been??

HOESHI: Lurking ;)

Nope: he was asleep(

HOESHI: i was asleep

Not a baby: cute

Nope: you might be a baby but i will end you

Boob: So you two coming for pizza?

HOESHI: :D

Uwu: Me and Channie are coming!!

Bitch jr: Wonu?

Wombat: Yeah if Mingyu’s paying

Nutless: Not for you bitch

Fuck off: What about me Gyu

Nutless: especially not you

Boob: HES REALLY TURNING RED THIDBJSJS

BIGDICK: What?

Boob: he smacked my phone out my hand

Boob: string bean looking

Jmoney: me han and cheol are on the way

Boob: okay that's everyone right?

Jmoney: Vernon you in?

Boob: Oh yeah i almost forgot about Vernon

Vergin: I already ate and my parents need me to babysit sofia so ill see you guys later

Vergin left the chat

Not a baby: ouch

Nope: smooth

Boob: What ???

Boob: I said almost!!

Jmoney: I blame jeonghan

Bitch: I breathed ¿ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I uploaded this on my phone sitting in the parkinglot of my job which im about to clock-in in 4 mins SO LET ME KNOW IF THIS IS TRASH SO WE CAN ALL END OUR SUFFERING!!

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS WRITTEN ON MY PHONE WHEN I WAS AT BREAK AT WORK


End file.
